I hope that I am not coming across as being “more than human” in my e-mails. I don’t want you to think that I am doing things that you could never do. That is so not true. I try in my emails to talk about the funny stuff and the good stuff but by doing that I often leave out the things I am struggling with and that may give the wrong impression. I am totally like you except that I am here and you are there. The last few days I have been trying not to be discouraged. Even though I tell myself not to have expectations, I know that I do. I expected the kids to see how much we care for them, and really like us. They didn’t have to love us, but I did think they would like us. And I thought with so many people around I would just fall into a group of friends that would accept me and include me in everything, and I would find a place where I fit in doing the things I love. But, it is not like that. And I have been having a hard time getting past that. I have no doubt that God wants us here right now, that is a given, but I am just trying to figure out the details of my life that He is still working on. And trying to be content while I wait for God to show me His plans. My Mom gave me a great verse that I have taped to my bathroom mirror: “Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalms 94:19 I read that every day and ask God to take away the doubts, and give me peace. He seems to encourage me just when I need it through your e-mails, through Garth, my kids, or this gorgeous view- and He always encourages me through Bible verses. I have been trying to use this as a great opportunity to spend more time with God, even just talking to Him more, asking Him to quiet me, quiet my thoughts. And He does. Please do me a favor and remember that I am so just like you-God has chosen to use me here in Indonesia for awhile, instead of where you are. God will use anyone that is willing, no matter where you are, or who you are. Even just typing all this out has encouraged me because I know that most of you will be praying for me after you read this. Thanks.
O.K. now on to the funny Sophie stuff. The other night the kids had all been running around playing outside together, and one boy in particular (we will say his name is Tommy) is quite the trouble maker. That night at bedtime Sophie said to me, ”Mom, I have been thinking. If Tommy is the guy that I am supposed to marry, like if he is the guy God picked for me, then I will probably end up in jail.” I told her that we would have to approve of who she marries and that we wouldn’t let anyone bad marry her. That put her mind at ease.
Today I substitute taught for Kindergarten and that was a blast! I really enjoyed it. We learned our letters and sounds through a fun BINGO game and acted out some books and did songs and read a stack of books and did a Math game, plus Music and Indonesian…Sophie loved having me there. She tried to be my helper. When one girl was being bad Sophie went up to write her name on the board-but I stopped her and said that I could handle it. She burst into tears at one point and said that she was missing her Grammo, and Grampo and their dog Timber. Not sure what made her think of that in the middle of our “Five Little Ducks” song, but it took her awhile to get over that.
We had some friends over for dinner, and Garth decided that was a good enough reason to try the Indonesian Haagen-Dazs ice cream we just got in the stores here. So he bought 2 pints, Choc. Chip and Cookies and Cream. Do you even want to know how much it cost? $20.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a hard time forking over the bills for that purchase, but we will just say it is his birthday present. I asked him if it was good, and he said it was alright. (I didn’t actually have any.) He said it didn’t taste the same as the States. It was a nice treat for everyone and it went well with my brownies.
Time to go as it is almost tomorrow and I am still awake. Thank goodness for Saturday’s. Hopefully we can sleep in!
Love to all-Rachel
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