O.k., I know all of things I am supposed to say, and all of the things I am supposed to feel, but I told you I would be honest and so I am going to be honest. I had a really hard day today. I know in the last email I mentioned about two of our dorm kids that have specific food diets. That really frustrated me at first because I know how busy I am doing regular things, and how limited the food supply is here, how hard it will be to make separate meals for them... We have two younger kids this year which poses new challenges as well. They will need more prodding and guidance than the older ones. There are various other problem areas but I won’t list them now, three kids haven’t even shown up yet, one is stuck in Jakarta and the other two we haven’t even heard from at all. As I was sitting with each set of parents and they were going over rules and information about their children I was feeling very overwhelmed. I felt like I was bobbing in the water with only my mouth and nose barely sticking out. With each new rule I was drifting farther and farther down. So, I went in my room and cried. Then Garth came in and we talked & prayed about it. I said I needed some time to myself for awhile and I read a bit. I have been reading out of this little book called God’s Promises and Answers for Women. It is excellent. These are some of the things I read: “Seek the Lord and His strength, Seek His face evermore! Remember the marvelous works that He has done…I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all of my fears.” It is pretty clear what I need to do. I need to seek the strength I would need from God, and remember how many times He has helped me in the past, ask Him to help me and He will get rid of my fears.
So I started praying and I realized that both diets could have soup. That is good news. Maybe if I could just make up a bunch of soup and have it in microwave containers in the freezer then they could heat it up instead of me making something different for every meal. My fears were starting to go away. As I lay there thinking about all of this I knew that even though this year was going to be hard work, I still felt like we were going to feel more like a family this year than we did last year. That was one thing I missed. We had so many kids that had been in the hostel for so long that they were a family but we weren’t really a part of it. This year will be different. I am sure of it.
Love you all,
Rachel
1 comment:
Hi Rachel - I think I might have commented before a long time ago - I left papua a good 7 or so years ago, but it's still home to me. I absolutely love your blog!
This post was honest and I want you to know that I am praying for you. Dorm parenting is a TOUGH job, particularly when you have rebellious or depressed kids or any number of other situations.
I thought your last comment was a great insight - that the kids were a family and you were not included. I do think that becomes true - if a group of the kids have been together for a while they react to the contant change in their tck lives that is even more heightened because of their dorm lives. I think when a new set of dorm parents like you guys come in they shut down rather then become attached to something that isn't permanent.
Yay for a new group of kids that you can provide a "home" for. My youngest siblings just entered a dorm for the first time (two high school girls, not in papua anymore), and they are dealing with homesickness and change... so I feel for you, your family, and the new dorm kids of HIS.
May God be very present with you in these first couple of weeks!
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