Tonight's the Night

Each time that I was in the hospital in labor I would take comfort in the thought that millions of women all around the world have gone through this, survived, and lived to tell about it. If they could do it, then I could too.

Well, that similar thought has been in my mind these last few weeks. Here I am. The mother of a Graduate. Tonight is Graduation. Millions of parents have been where I am, gotten through it, and lived to talk about it. If they can do it, then I can too. Right?

I just don't feel ready.But maybe you never do. I don't know. This is my first time. And I am the luckiest of all because Wyatt is choosing to do his gap year here in Papua. He won't be living with us but I will be able to see him. To get my hugs in when I am feeling low. So, then why is this day making me so sad? I think it is because I  know that life as we have known it for almost 18 years is about to change. Things will never be the same. He will start making memories without us.

I know in my head that this is what we have been preparing him for. The whole idea of giving him roots and wings. My heart is just having a hard time with the wings part.

He is a strong kid. He is a good kid. He is my kid, and I guess I just want to hold on to him a little bit longer. But, he is big now. Really big. Loads taller than me. And I have to remember that my faith is even bigger than my fears. And my God is mighty. He will never forget to watch out for Wyatt. He will never neglect to notice when he needs help. He will never decide to withhold comfort from His hurting child.He will be there. I know it. I can count on it. 

It is time for a new chapter, brand spanking new. There is so much potential, so much adventure ahead. Do I really want to hold him back? No, I don't. But I do want to hug him a bit tighter, and tell him 1400 more times how special I think he is. Just to make sure he knows. And pray more fervently. That is the key, truly the only way that I can allow those wings to take him away. Prayer. Knowing that all of our prayers are surrounding Wyatt and all these Graduates, is what allows us to give them completely over to God and trust them into His care. 

I am going to try. And if I can try to do it, then maybe you can too.